Tonight was a gong show. Me and Kylie went to the brewhouse and Jaycie and her friend showed up already half cut. They then proceeded to polish off a bottle of wine and a few shots in between. Jaycie spilled wine on my shirt. A bunch of other people showed up from work and things really got going. Bobby wasn’t there and everyone was getting very drunk but me. My friend Tasha who lives in the same building as me was there as well. She sent her boyfriend home with the car and got super drunk. Bobby showed up at about 1 in the morning. He caught a ride home with Kylie and me and Tasha. Tasha then proceeded to ask Bobby if he was spending the night at my house. FML. It was incredibly embarrassing. Bobby said no and Tasha continued to talk about it and ask why he wasn’t. We got home and Parker wasn’t answering the door and I started to panic. I wasn’t going to let Tasha spend the night at my house. He finally answered and I shoved her in the door and said goodnight. Fuck.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Ask Venus: Online cheat....
Dear Venus,
I have been married for 10 years and recently I’d become severely depressed. Life just seemed so routine and boring. Then recently I started up a page at a well-known hook up site and met a wonderful few people to occupy my time. At first it started out just innocent. I was looking to talk..well maybe not talk because I did go after people I found attractive. I met a guy on there and we instantly clicked. We are both married but found our escapes in each other. We are trying to keep it over the phone and imagining each other while having sex with our significant others but it is getting harder. I’m not sure if I’m really falling for him or I’m just intrigued about something new. What should I do? Do you think I am wrong for that?
sincerely,
Online cheat
Infidelity is one of the easiest way to end a marriage or a relationship. Sometimes when we are feeling bored in our relationships are our lives we often feel we need something new, exciting, and totally different from our everyday lives to feel alive. Although sometimes it may seem like this path may be the escape you have been searching for might lead to chaos.
I think there is a lot you need to talk to your husband about. Tell him your need for some heat in the bedroom or some romance in your life. Tell him you want variety something new. Spend the day sharing your fantasies with one another and pick one you want to play out.
Keep in mind the family you have built with your partner and think about what you would want from him in return. Would you want him to be honest with you and let you know what was going on with him?
I say every woman needs to feel sexually liberated, sexy, and beautiful, but remember there can sometimes be consequences.
Love,
Venus
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Taylor Lautner Gay?
Rumours have started that Taylor Lautner is infact gay! The speculations started after the New Moon actor refused to answer questions about his sexuality to Rolling Stone Magazine. The 17 year old said “There’s a lot of rumours out there,” Maybe he’s not into people of the same sex just the same name, there are still media rumours that the actor is dating country singer Taylor Swift. “We instantly clicked,” said Lautner, describing the moment he and Swift met on the set of the upcoming romcom ‘Valentine’s Day’ “She’s an amazing girl. Aside from being beautiful, she’s extremely funny, charismatic and fun to be around.” I’m pretty sure that most girls out there would die if Lautner was actually gay!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Snogging
Alex is a little lyxlirare. She has a house and a bed and everything else you may need, and she still chooses to check in to a hotel in the city.
I’m not complaining though. In fact, I am snogging her in her hotel bed whilst fattening up on chocolate and watching the half blood prince. Aaaah Harry P.
But my luck will be short lived. In about an hour she is kicking me out to have sex. I asked if I could join but apparently that was out of the question. That’s just plain rude if you ask me…
Side Hugs and Gangsta Rap
The radical Christian right (the folks who assassinate doctors, teach children lies about their bodies, try to force their special version of unreality into American public school classrooms and, basically, are trying to create an American Christian version of Iran) have a thing about sex. Specifically, they are paranoid about sex. They are afraid that somewhere, a woman might be enjoying the act.
Christian children, the children of radical Christians, are taught that sex is bad. Physical contact is bad. Physical pleasure is bad. Being anything other than exactly what your parents say your preacher says the Bible says God says you should be is bad. And touching yourself (or others) is bad. Being human, in other words, is bad.
So what about hugs? Are hugs okay? Well, it depends on two things: first, can you tolerate Christian Gangsta Rap? Second, do you have a sense of humour?
This is making the rounds clogging up the intertube thingies:
Yes, God wants us to be compassionate and kind and tender with each other. Not only that, but he wants us to love our enemies and serve our neighbors. As long as there is no body on body action. I’m talking of course about a “full frontal hug,” one of those sinful abominations where you just wrap your arms around a friend and embrace them. That’s why Christians the world over have pioneered the “side hug.” In the side hug there’s no risk of two crotches touching. Instead of face to face, you go side to side, putting your arm around the person and your hip against their’s. Still having a hard time mastering it? Pretend you’re taking a photo and you’re both looking at the camera together. The side hug, or A frame as it is also called, is safe for the whole family, friendly and above all holy. I don’t know the exact scripture reference but try the book of Psalms. (from SCL (Stuff Christians Like))
The video is new (found via The Huffington Post), but the humourous idea of the Christian Side Hug appears to be about two years old. I can see this catching on among Christian young’uns. Well, not the young’uns. More likely the narrow-minded authoritarians masquerading as right-wing Christian parents. I guess the kids can do the side hug before or after (not both, that would be too much) some sweaty saddlebacking.
I confess that I find the pseudo-fallacious Christian side hug to be much less offensive than the Christian gangsta rap video. Of course, that’s just me.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
The [ Lust ] Mixtape.
Everyone who knows me knows I am the queen of any type of sensual song. It’s something about smooth R&B and soulful melodies that just puts me in a good mood, and not even just sexually. It’s this music that helps me to clear my mind. So I just thought it would be a good idea to compile a list of songs that I feel can really set the mood and take a calm, serene atmosphere to a very sexy, and sensual one. Fellas (and ladies) pay attention.
1. Sex Therapy- Robin Thicke
2. Freakin’ Me- Jamie Foxx
3. Under- Pleasure P.
4. Role Play- Trey Songz
5. Sex Weed- R. Kelly
6. Wetter- Twista
7. Jupiter Love- Trey Songz
8. Love Like Honey- Pretty Ricky
9. Red Light Special- TLC
10. This Woman’s Work- Maxwell
11. Say It- Ne-Yo
12. Love You Gently- Usher
13. Slow- Jamie Foxx
14. Mirror- Ne-Yo
15. Scratchin’ Me Up- Trey Songz
16. Slow Wind- R. Kelly
17. Babymaker- Day 26
18. Overdose- Brandon Hines
19. Bed- J. Holiday
20. Freak Me- Silk
21. Meeting In My Bedroom- Silk
22. Signs of Love Makin’- Tyrese
23. Anywhere- 112
24. Purple Kisses- The Dream
25. Read Your Mind- Avant
Of course this list could go on forever. There are just so many songs out there that really capture the essence of sensuality. But this is a start.
Men love women more than women love men
If women really loved men just as much as men loved women:
*Why is it men that generally pay for dates?
*Why do men traditionally take most of the initiatives?
*Why do some women expect men to buy them so much stuff on Valentine’s Day? Why do so many women expect flowers, spa treatments, boxes of chocolate, and other gifts from men? Don’t men also deserve these things? Shouldn’t Valentine’s Day include both genders?
*Why do women generally expect men to buy them wedding rings? Are men not “special” enough to also get a ring?
*Why do divorced men commit suicide 10x as often as divorced women? Don’t women feel as much heartbreak after divorce?
*Why are 2/3 of breakups initiated by women? Are men less “likable”?
*Why are men traditionally objectified as disposable protectors, heroes, or breadwinners when many females seem to receive love based on their looks alone?
*Why do many women expect to be the ones to feel “protected” or “taken care of” like a princess or “damsel in distress”? Can’t a man expect these things too?
*Why are there so many more homeless men than women? Are homeless men less likely to marry and earn a woman’s love?
*Why is “chivalry” generally something that women expect from men?
*Why is the man the one expected to be the disposable “bodyguard” to get up at night if there is a loud noise?
*Why does society as a whole seem to have more compassion for “women and children” than men?
*Why do many women expect “crying privileges” and a shoulder to cry on at any moments notice? Why do many women perceive a man’s tears and vulnerability as “weakness”?
*Do women have any “protective instincts” for their men in the same way that some people claim that men have “protective instincts” for their women? If not, does this imply that women love men less than vice versa? After all, we tend to put more effort into protecting the things in life we value more.
*Do women love their children more than their husbands? Is a woman’s “chivalry” generally reserved only for her children (or pets)?
*Why does a man have to “earn” his way into a woman’s bed? Why are some men willing to pay for a prostitute while women would never sleep with a gigolo even for free?
*Why do men (much like job applicants) compete with other men to impress a woman(when she gets to play the role of the choosy employer)?
*Why are so few women or feminists willing to get in the trenches and help do society’s dirty work to help reduce male injury, male disposability, and the longevity gap?
*Why do women and feminists seem to care more about the glass ceiling than the glass cellar?
*Why do women and feminists seem to care more about the so-called pay-gap (which is a myth) than the female-dominated spending gap? Why do some women expect to spend most of the money that the man made?
*Why are there seemingly so many more chivalrous male feminists than female masculists?
*Why do many men treat women as “queens” when many women treat men as “worker bees”?
*Why are so many men “took to the cleaners” after a divorce? Don’t men have feelings like women do?
*How many women are willing to support a stay-at-home husband (and let him spend a large portion of her money)?
*Why do “tomboys” and “daddys girls” seem to be considered charming or cute while “mama’s boys” and “jill girls” seem to elicit images of laughing stocks that still live with their parents and are too “unmanly” or “lazy” to deserve a girlfriend?
*Why aren’t women sometimes made to feel “efemilated” by their mates in the same way that men are sometimes made to feel “emasculated” (it is telling that “efemilated” isn’t even considered a real word)? Why isn’t there a phrase “take it like a woman” to go with the phrase “take it like a man”?
*Why do many women (and men) seem to have pink ribbons on their cars for breast cancer awareness at the expense of also rallying for prostate cancer awareness? Is women’s health more important?
*Why do some women find it easier to slyly “support” or “thank” a man for engaging in dangerous work or war instead of actually showing real thanks by actually doing some of the dirty work themselves (after all, actions speak louder than words)?
*Why do some women not allow metrosexuals the same fashion privileges as themselves? Why are the mens departments so much smaller than the womens departments in many clothing stores?
I know I am generalizing a bit, but I think in general men are traditionally socialized to think of themselves as “less than” women and women are socialized to think of themselves as the proverbial “prize” to be fought for. As such, men could very well be at least half the problem for this less-than-savory state of affairs. At any rate, A first date with a woman can almost seem like a job interview to a man. It seems like many feminists and women want the good parts of traditional roles coupled with special treatment with their new roles. This is not progress….it is traditional and age-old expectations of pampered entitlement.
As for men, I think they need to drop that macho facade and demand better treatment for themselves (and other men). Machismo may indeed be a form of brainwashing to keep men “in their place”. Men are not disposable wallets, and shouldn’t expect to be treated that way by other men or women. They are human beings. I think society should advocate a “new chivalry” where we all protect and care for each other.
I think it would behoove men to consider if it is really worth it to love someone else who might not love them back equally. If a man is willing to “take a bullet” for his true love, it only seems fair that the woman would be willing to do the same for him.
Gender roles hurt us all. Feminists have made their case for equality. Now masculists have to continue doing the same (if true equality is the goal). True equality involves equality in relation to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. If this is indeed a goal of any given commonwealth, this means helping society close the life expectancy gap, disposability gap, female sentencing gap, spending gap, and establishing equal opportunities for finding joy. It might behoove masculists and feminists alike to join forces in achieving this goal. After all, it seems to me that most people are mindless robots who could essentially care less about masculism or feminism.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Five Seconds
Instead of skirts and pantyhose
she likes to wear
ragged blue jeans and tee shirts
instead of being
a little lady so prim and proper
climbing trees
riding motorcycles at high speed
just like a guy
she loves to be bad as she can be
satin and lace
you’ll never see her wear at night
a wedding dress
pure and white makes her want to
puke and barf
inside a church she won’t allow
herself to be seen
insisted on our getting conjoined
down at the local
auto body shop and salvage yard
yet that very night
oh so far away on our honeymoon
in my arms alone
from a tomboy into a sexy woman
she transformed
shucked off the tight leather outfit
she was sporting
in five seconds flat made me glad
that I’m her man
rocked my world that very night
between the sheets
of our full size bed then and there
as I found myself
madly leaping for joy deep inside
the velvety sheath
of the honeycomb of her wetness
Dirty Old Man or Double Standard?
This week’s XSEX LOVE LETTER is a topic that everyone seems to have an opinion about:
Dear XSEX: I have a friend (a male friend) who turned 40 in August. He recently started dating the daughter of a girlfriend of mine (who is also an old friend of his, as we all went to high school together). My friend’s daughter just turned 19. This bothers me, though it doesn’t seem to bother my girlfriend, as her daughter has had a string of abusive relationships with men–boys–her own age. My male friend says I’m being a busybody and age doesn’t matter. He also says I’m a hypocrite as I’m dating a younger man (I’m 39 and he is 27). Is this double standard really that common? -May/December Mom (Dallas, TX)
This is a sex blog, Mom, not Jerry Springer or Dateline: To Catch A Predator. I’d love to provide you with some facts and figures, but it’s a double standard in that department, most definately. The wise MILFS at Good Housekeeping Online (God, I cannot BELIEVE I actually visited that site. I need a shower, I feel so dirty) say that 12% of marriages are between older women and younger men, according to the 2000 U.S. Census. I tried to double-check their figure and get the older men/younger women marriage figure, but the facts at the Census website were as dense and cold as an iceberg and about as interesting as watching a documentary on paint drying. I know better than to expect Good Housekeeping to provide figures on older men and younger women. Them are fightin’ words over at GH.
Their article (which seems to talk a lot about Hollywood May/December romances, big surprise there, right?) reports: “But even in the sexual playground of the movie biz, the reverse matchup — an older woman with a younger man — has always seemed somewhat shocking. ‘It challenges our basic, narrow perception of what a couple should be,’ notes Helen Fisher, Ph.D., a human-sexuality expert and author of The First Sex: The Talents of Women and How They Are Changing the World. My God, I cannot WAIT to read that book. I’m sure it’s fascinating.
Since GH and the U.S. Gov’t weren’t giving me any juicy info, I tried just typing ”old men and younger women” into Microsoft’s new Bing “Decision Engine”, because–apparently–it’s supposed to be more intuitive and search overload is killing America according to Bill Gates. Well, Bing gave me no bling. All I got out of it was page after pathetic page of porn and dating sites that promised to introduce me to younger women “in my area”. So I suppose it’s safe to say that there are WAY more older men/younger women relationships, May/December Mom.
But your friend is 40 and the girl is 19, huh? Well, as I man I cannot help but mentally wish him luck. After all, men are pigs. Oink Oink, bitch.
But, seriously, OF COURSE there is a double standard! But the MILFS at Good Housekeeping can’t have it both ways! If it’s good enough for the goose it’s good enough for the gander. (What the hell is a gander? I hope it’s a male goose, because otherwise that statement didn’t come out the way I wanted it to).
Now, that does NOT mean that this guy isn’t a dirty old man. Let me be VERY clear on this. In fact, if he is anything like my friends, he most certainly IS a dirty old man on some level. I will warn you: he is going to make the excuse that “she’s legal”…and technically he is correct. It might shock you to learn that in MANY states, “legal” can be younger than 18. You can get married at 16 in many states, and even YOUNGER if you are pregnant and/or have parental permission. I’m not going to tell you what states have these rather liberal laws, because I live in one and I’m sick of getting made fun of because all the stupid laws we still have on the books here. Let’s just say that many of the states in question are in the South. Yee-ha. The youngest girl I know of that got married (legally, and was not part of a Mormon wife-n-daughter club) was 14, and the proud husband was 25. I do not recall (since I was drunk at the nuptials) if a shotgun was involved. I am fairly certain that the flower girl was the bride’s 8 year old sister, and she became an aunt four short months after the ceremony.
So WHY do men seek out younger women? I’m not even going to answer that. If it isn’t obvious, you’re an idiot. Most of these men will probably try to tell you how mature their teenage girlfriend is. What do you EXPECT them to say? I’ve never ONCE heard any guy say: “My teenaged girlfriend acts so immature! I wish she’d grow up!”
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Dating
I was talking to a friend of mine who keeps insisting I get back up on the horse, so to speak, and get out there and start dating again.
First of all, I’m really not a ‘dater’ to begin with. In fact, I loathe dating. And, truth be told, I have never had a serious relationship with someone I dated first. How’s that, you ask? Most serious relationships were with guys I worked with. Men I already knew pretty well, where an attraction had gradually developed over the course of many weeks or months even. In my children’s fathers case, years.
I’m not a ‘relationship’ person. I don’t need to be with someone to feel complete, in fact, I have been single much longer than in a solid union. I can, however, enjoy casual relationships or ‘fuck buddy’ arrangements, and have done that often. Generally speaking, those relationships involve men I am only physically attracted to; many are far too young to be taken seriously. Or we have absolutely nothing in common except for a healthy sexual attraction.
I know many folks who need to always be in a relationship. They go from one to the other with very little time in between to reflect on the mistakes of the previous. They just can’t be alone. I have always felt that one should take at least a year off before considering a serious relationship. Why bring all that baggage along if you don’t have to?
There are also those who stay in bad relationships because they fear being alone. They will put up with all kinds of abuse and boundary crossing because they think they either can’t do any better, or they are simply too comfortable to start over again with someone else.
It’s also important to remember that folks who come with a list of rules—especially the ones who bring that list on a first date, should be avoided at all costs. I’m talking about the ‘here’s what I’m looking for’ and ‘here’s what I’m not looking for’ lists. Why? Because they are full of shit, and generally speaking, control freaks. They never play by the rules they set up. Never.
I’m sure you’re thinking; “Yeah but, shouldn’t we be honest about our intentions at the beginning of a potential relationship?” Sure thing. But why do we need to have so many rules? Can’t we just see what develops and proceed from there?
The last thing I want to hear, and this was a major problem with my last boyfriend, is how terrible a guys ex was. If you’re still hurting from that relationship, then what in the fuck are you doing starting up another? You aren’t ready.
I also hate to be compared to an ex. I remember many times having to remind my ex BF that I wasn’t his ex. That was a constant thorn in the paw of that relationship. He’d say things like; “Do you really like kissing me? She (the ex) always had commentary about that.” Once, I even said to him; “I’m not Her, sweetie.”
The one thing I have experienced time and time again, is the annoying bullshittery of a guy saying he’s not looking for anything serious and just wants to have some fun, because what ends up always happening is, somewhere along the line, they decide to change the rules. Which becomes an unfortunate blunder on their part. Still, they think that by setting up the terms at the beginning they are giving themselves an easy way out, should that become necessary. It’s a set up maneuver, and I hate being set up.
The problem is, if a guy tells me he’s not looking for anything serious, then I tend to not take them seriously by viewing the relationship as casual. And if I begin a relationship casually, that’s where it stays. It’s very hard for me to switch tracks once I have it in my head. Mostly because, when entering a casual relationship, I avoid making an emotional investment. I simply don’t do it as it wouldn’t make sense. I have had problems where I have become attached to a person, but feeling there is no chance for a long term partnership, I have no problem breaking away mentally, within a few weeks.
The best way for me to approach a relationship is with a sense of curiosity. I don’t want to be told that I shouldn’t fall in love with someone, by that someone, because that takes all the fun out of it. I’m not saying that every person I make a connection with I hope to fall in love with. Quite the contrary. I just don’t like to be told what I can and cannot do.
Anyway, I’ll start dating when it feels right. I’m not going to push myself because I’m still hurting and that wouldn’t be fair to anyone. Or fun.
Ideas
The unexpected twists and turns of life have been good to me this week – very good, in fact. Two weeks after starting work in Notting Hill, I still have a job. Unbelievable, really. Even more unbelievably, I seem to be settling into the job. I appear to be performing well in my new role. It looks like I’m getting recognition for the hard work I’ve been doing – at the end of the day I was called into an empty room by the boss, who asked me if I would like to accept more hours and a permanent role, starting from next week. There was me thinking she was going to break the bad news to me that my services were no longer required. “Thanks very much, sling your hook,” she could have said, but she didn’t. She actually went as far as to tell me that I had impressed her over the past fortnight, that I was turning out to be a valued member of ‘the team’. I was left utterly speechless – I could barely thank her. I’m still thinking somewhere that she must have made a mistake, or that it’s all a big joke, and when I get in on Monday they’ll drop the pretence. Surely they can’t really think I’m that good at my job? No way have I really lasted to this point without revealing myself as an incapable fraud?
My ability to do the job isn’t exactly what I’m questioning at the moment; my personal relationships with ‘the team’ are another matter. I’m quickly realising the extent to which I secretly believe that everyone there hates me. When someone says something nice, shares a joke with me, offers to make me a cup of tea, inside I think they must be doing it to make fun of me. In much the same way I used to believe that people in AA were taking the piss every time they invited me to coffee/initiated a conversation with me/asked for my number. What’s to like about me? I’ve seen so much evidence to prove that I am likeable over the years, yet I still find myself asking that question. I guess I always thought of work as the final taboo in my life, and everyone who I was to come across in the work environment would be so normal, so much better than me that it would be impossible to impress them, let alone make friends with any of them.
Anyway, now that I am quite likely to still have a job in three months from now, all kinds of ideas and opportunities are presenting themselves to me. As soon as I walked out of work today I switched my phone on to find a voicemail message from a good friend in the fellowship, asking if I’m looking for a place to live because he has a free room available in his flat from next month. The rent’s reasonable; it’s in a great part of town; I’ve thought about it all evening, and I think I could manage the cost. God, I think I could actually do it. I could leave home, move to the centre of London, to the place where I should always have been! It would be a dream come true, especially with a friend from the rooms. A few weeks ago I couldn’t even think about such a marvellous possibility.
Suddenly everything is happening, everything is changing, really quickly. I asked God to change my life, and guess what, God is answering. The Artist’s Way says that all you have to do is ask: I guess Julia Cameron is right on that score. If I hadn’t been through the hardship of unemployment for a year and a half, I wouldn’t be appreciating this rapid improvement in fortunes as much as I am right now. I’m finally beginning to live an adult life. I’m considering my capabilities, thinking about what I can do and what I can’t do; I’m making plans and decisions, all on my own. I didn’t need a job to give me an identity, I needed it for independence, and that elusive thing is finally appearing, years after I began to think that I deserved it.
I tried independence eight years ago, and of course I fucked it up. I was far too young. In a way I could still be too young, but that’s not important now. My time is now. It’s here: God is giving me a chance, and I have to take it. I might never get another one.
Tonight’s SAA meeting was the icing on the week’s cake. Since the summer this meeting has grown at an incredible rate: from just two regular members two months ago it has gone to eight or nine regulars. It’s like group therapy. We all know each other, we all sit round in a circle and we share the truth. The real truth, not the censored truth that might be deemed appropriate for other fellowships. We talk about the fickled, fake gay scene, the shame involved with growing up gay in a straight world; the terror of intimacy, the horrors of drunken shagging, the appeal of oblivion and the price we’ve all paid for it. We always go for coffee afterwards. It’s turning into a little family. It’s certainly my favourite point of the week now. I will always look forward to it. God, it’s what I need. I can share about anything there, not just sex addiction. For two years I’ve looked for a meeting like that. Now more than ever, it’s the sort of thing that’s vital to my recovery.
Everything is going so well in my life right now, I can’t fucking believe it. Thank God I got sober two and a half years ago! I wouldn’t be here now if I were still drinking, that’s for sure. I might have gone for the interview and got this job, but I wouldn’t have lasted more than a few days. As it stands, I’ve now managed to last longer in this job than I did in all but one of the jobs I had pre-recovery. If I were still drinking I definitely wouldn’t have a safe place to go every Friday night, where I can talk about how I really feel and be appreciated and understood by people who’ve been there too. A place where there is no judgment, no cruising, no attitude. Some of the men who go to this meeting are very physically attractive, of course, but that doesn’t really bother me. I don’t need any of them to complete me. I like them as friends, nothing more. To be able to say that, and mean it, is just incredible.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Sexed-Up Twins Waiting For Your Comments
I’m back in Coffs today, the bus AND train were late so I got home later than I was suppose to. I was happy to see that my car was where I left it. Hurrah!
For those of you who are joining me now, I’ve been accepted to be published in Picture and 100% Homegirls magazines(both nude, one explicit), and I’m so excited about it! They interviewed me over the phone, and I’m due to be published Dec 09 and Jan 2010.
I thought some questions might be good trivia:
What’s your fave sexual acts?
I mainly love penetration, my fave sexual position is doggy style, especially for sex with strangers or anyone who’s not my boyfriend – the cock can get so much deeper in this position and it’s the optimal for getting your hair fisted/pulled. I find that for my boyfriend I love missionary as I get to see his face in pleasure and kiss him, which for some reason I can only really lose myself in it with my boyfriend. I also like giving blowjobs for a bit but not all the time until they cum or it gets boring. I like to mix and match, oral, hands, pussy… but have always found it awkward receiving it from men other than my boyfriend.
Where’s the craziest place you’ve had sex?
I wouldn’t really say that I’ve had sex in a crazy place, what is a crazy place? I’ve had sex in a variety of places including a pool, sauna, children’s cubby house, university student association lounge… There are others, but they aren’t really ‘crazy’. I’d hope that over time I can add to the list, and get some more public-type places on there.
Do you have a fantasy?
I always had a fantasy of a threesome, being between two men. No, I’ve never had a threesome. Anyhow in the fantasy I’m always fucked double penetration, one cock in my pussy and one in my ass. Though the funny thing is I’ve never been into anything anal, it’s just the idea of having two guys sandwich me. I would also love to have one in my pussy and one in my mouth. Part of it is the thought of being used by two men for pleasure like a slut, and part of it is being all about me.
That’s enough for now I think. If you have specific questions you’d like me to answer ask away! I received a disc of photos from a photoshoot in Kenthurst, Sydney today. If you’d like to see some, drop me a comment. Indenticle twins command you.
XOX
Bonus Penis, Pax In Domus
We are at it again, trying to ascertain whether a generously sized and good looking penis makes the difference in bed. It’s the question that nearly all men would answer with a yes and most women would answer with some sort of evasive answer such as “it depends on the man attached to it” and so forth.
The fact that the approach to sex is a different thing for men and women is no secret, with the obvious due exceptions. However, in my experience of a man gifted with a fairly good specimen, I think that all other parameters being equal, a good juicy cock makes the difference and catches the attention of the interested observer. Shape, girth, circumcision, smoothness, veins, haircut, and other details, can influence the feeling and arousal of a woman. Depending on what she finds in the pants, the sexual experience may turn in various ways.
Size, whatever people say, does matter. Although it is arguable whether it makes a difference at physical level, it definitely has a visual and psychological impact. Being a rather pragmatic individual I tend not to trust the comments of some explicit lovers, they give me the impression of a fake. Let’s not forget that many women are convinced that making some positive comments about a man’s penis is a way of pleasing him. I tend to pay more attention to the discrete individuals, their expression says more than a thousand words when they have the first look. Some react the way a child would react when he is offered his favourite cake, others react with a veil of concern as they probably have never experienced such a generous size.
I will come back to this topic at some stage, but will conclude for now that in the very same way that a man may or may not like a pair of boobs or enjoy a vagina, a woman may or may not be attracted by a penis.
Any comments will be more than welcome.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Save The Speeches For Malcolm X, I Just Want To Get Laid
Now that I’m single, I have a strong desire to get a little wild, to make a few more notches on my bedpost, to sow my wild oats. My ‘number’ is pitifully low, because since I was eighteen, I’ve been a serial monogamist. Now my twenties are almost over and I’m single for the first time in a decade and I find myself thinking, fuck, I don’t want to fall in love, I don’t want another long-term relationship, I just want to slut it up a little bit.
Of course, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks over night. I’m still cautious and shy and you know what, I’ll probably never be the kind of girl who goes to a bar solo and picks a guy up. So I’ve turned to the internets (specifically to internet dating – I haven’t been cruising online communities and picking up local guild members from WoW). During the semester I was too busy to really put much energy into the whole enterprise (although there was one entertainingly gin-soaked and embarrassing encounter that is a post for another time), but now the semester is over, the sun is out, and I want to have some fun.
I have a few ground rules. I only plan to sleep with people I’m physically or intellectually attracted to (because, given the elements of sexual rejection involved in the breakup, it would be quite easy to fall into viewing being desired as a band aid for my wounded self-esteem and thus to sleep with guys I’m really not into, and I don’t think that would be good). Before the deed occurs I’m going to be upfront about my current lack of interest in monogamy (because clearly, some men on these sites are really looking for happily ever after, but I don’t kid myself and think that lack of exclusivity would be a dealbreaker for most guys). And of course, I’ll keep in mind the advice that Condoman dispensed in these PSA-type cartoons from my youth:
Already, I’ve realized that internet dating sites are weird. If I was too fussy I’d get nowhere. Some of my early criteria (that I’d only communicate with men who could generally spell, who shared at least some of my taste in books/movies/music/tv, or who weren’t creepy and sleazy in their profile) have gone out the window because goddamn, that would make the whole enterprise just about moot. Because I’m a bottle blond, still in my twenties, and have a nice smile, well all kinds of men (many more than old enough to be my father) have ‘winked’ at and ‘kissed’ me (ugh, these sites are so twee in the way they structure encounters), despite the fact that early forties is my absolute max. Plus, when it comes to constructing my profile, I’m not going to ‘dumb down’ the fact that I can think, write, and reason, and I find myself constitutionally unable to talk about ‘Mr Right’ or cuddling (ok, that could be because I’m a robotic monster sent back in time from the future). However, I’m trying to remain open minded about the whole thing, and to remind myself that I’m not looking for a companion so much as ‘company.’ For my purposes, maybe it doesn’t matter so much if I don’t have that much in common with a guy, and up until now, I’ve always had a pretty clear type (skinny, tall, brainy, funny guys), so perhaps I should broaden my horizons.
I think this summer will be an interesting experiment, where I think about sex and men in new ways. *fingers crossed* Being in a strange new city has its advantages, because I can’t make the obvious mistakes (like sleeping with friends) and because my dalliances will be mine to divulge or keep to myself.
And the title. Well, in “Heathers,” one of my all-time favourite movies, Veronica, a junior in highschool, is at a college party having been set up with a guy called Brad. After an evening of awkward conversation, he crassly propositions her for sex. She declares, “You know, I have a little prepared speech I tell my suitor when he wants more than I’d like to give him. Gee, blank, I had a really nice…” and Brad, who is sprawled on a sofa, drums his hands on his chest and interupts with the titular line. It has always cracked me up (even when I was an ignorant ten year old who didn’t know who Malcom X was), and now it makes me laugh for a slightly different reason – I want to claim a little Brad for myself and tell some hapless guy to put out or get out.
Ryu Murakami- Albastru nemarginit, aproape transparent II
Ma tot intrebam ce fac eu aici. Mancam din strugurii imprastiati pe masa. Le curatam pielita cu limba si scuipam samburii in farfurie, cand mana mi s-a atins de o vulva. M-am uitat si am vazut-o pe Kei ranjind, cu picioarele desfacute. Jackson s-a ridicat absent si a inceput sa isi dea jos uniforma. Si-a stins tigara mentolata, subtire, si s-a indreptat catre Moko, care se freca de Oscar. I-a turnat pe fund un parfum cu miros greu dintr-o sticluta maronie si mi-a zis, Ba, Ryu, da-mi tubu’ ala alb din camasa! Tinuta de maini de Oskar, data cu crema, Moko a tipat, E reece! Jackson a apucat-o de fund si i l-a ridicat, apoi si-a acoperit cu crema varful penisului si a patruns-o. Moko si-a incovoiat spinarea si a tipat, iar Kei, care privea, s-a apropiat, spunand, Ce marfa e! Moko, cu fundul ridicat, plangea. Kei a apucat-o de par, i-a intors capul catre ea si i-a spus, Las’ ca iti dau cu niste mentol dup-aia, s-a sarutat cu Oscar si a izbucnit in ras. I-am fotografiat fata schimonosita a lui Moko cu un aparat de buzunar. Nasul i se misca precum unui alergator de cursa lunga in timpul sprintului final. Reiko si-a ridicat in cele din urma privirile. Si-a dat seama ca e lipicioasa pe trup si s-a indreptat catre baie. Cu gura deschisa si privirea in gol, picioarele i s-au impleticit de nu stiu cate ori si s-a rostogolit. I-am pus mana pe umar, sa o ajut sa se ridice. Ryu, ajuta-ma, si-a apropiat ea chipul. Trupul ii mirosea ciudat si m-am repezit la baie sa vomit. Asezata pe pardoseala, Reiko facea dus, cu ochii rosii atintiti in gol.
Proasto, o sa te ineci si o sa mori! Kei a oprit dusul, si-a bagat mana intre picioarele lui Reiko si a chicotit vazand-o cum tresare speriata. A, tu esti, Kei, a imbratisat-o si a sarutat-o pe gura. Eu stateam pe wc. Kei mi-a facut semn. Ryu,e rece si misto. Aveam impresia ca pe masura ce ma racoream pe dinafara, interiorul meu devenea din ce in ce mai fierbinte. Ce draguta e a ta! A zis Kei si mi-a luat penisul in gura, iar Reiko m-a tras de parul ud si, cautandu-mi limba precum un copil care cauta sanul, mi-a supt-o cu putere. Kei s-a sprijinit cu mainile de perete si, cu fundul impins in spate m-a primit in gaura uscata si curatata de mucus. Bob a intrat in baie, cu sudoarea siroindu-i pe palme. Nu ne-ajung femeile, Ryu, bulangiule, si tu iei doua de unul singur.
M-a lovit usor peste obraz si ne-a impins,uzi, inapoi in camera, pravalindu-ne pe podea. Cu penisul bagat strans in corpul lui Kei, am gemut cand am cazut. Pe Reiko au aruncat-o in pat, ca intr-o pasa de rugby, iar Bob a sarit pe ea. Reiko protesta, ingaimand cuvinte neintelese, dar Saburo a prins-o de maini si de picioare, cineva i-a bagat pe gat o bucata de placinta si s-a inecat. Acum cantau Osibisa. Moko si-a sters fundul, cu o grimasa pe fata. Pe hartie au ramas urme de sange, pe care i le-a aratat lui Jackson si s-a plans, Groaznic! Ia zi, Reiko, nu-i misto placinta? a intrebat Kei, intinsa pe burta pe masa. Stii, parca-ti explodeaza ceva in stomac, parc-ai i nghiti un peste viu,a zis Reiko. M-am urcat pe pat ca sa o fotografiez pe Reiko, dar Bob m-a imbrancit, cu un ranjet. Rostogolindu-ma pe pidea, m-am lovit de Moko. E groaznic tipu’ asta, m-am saturat. E popo, nu? Moko era pe Oskar, care o legana in timp ce rodea o bucata de pui. Moko a inceput din nou sa planga.
Moko, esti ok? Te doare ceva? Nici nu mai stiu, Ryu, nici nu mai stiu.
O legana pe Moko in ritmul muzicii. Kei statea pe genunchii lui Jackson si bea vin. Vorbeau ceva. Jackson o freca cu o bucata de sunca si presara esenta de vanilie pe ea. O voce ragusita a strigat, Oh, baby! Pe covorul rosu cazusera felurite lucruri. Chiloti si scrum de tigara, resturi de paine, de salata si de rosii, fire de par de diferite culori, hartie patata de sange, pahare si sticle, pielite de struguri, chibrituri, cirese rostogolite prin praf. Moko s-a ridicat clatinandu-se. Tinandu-se cu mainile de fund, a zis, Ma ce foame mi s-a facut! si s-a indreptat spre masa. Jackson s-a aplecat, i-a lipit un plasture si a sarutat-o.
Cu fata aproape lipita de masa, a inceput sa roada un crab, ca un copil in pragul inanitiei. Cu respiratia taiata, i-a crapat carapacea. Nu mai stiu cine si-a pus penisul negru in fata ei, iar Moko l-a bagat si pe acesta in gura. Mangaindu-l cu limba, l-a impins afara si s-a intors din nou catre crab. A spart cu zgomot carapacea rosie si a scos cu mana carnea alba dinauntru. A inmuiat-o in maioneza roz, uscata pe farfurie si, murdarindu-se pe piept, a pus-o pe limba. Mirosul de crab a umplut incaperea. Reiko suspina din nou. Durham a luat-o pe Moko pe la spate. Moko s-a strambat, cu fundul inaltat si cu crabul inca in mana, a incercat sa bea niste vin, dar din cauza zgaltaielii i-a intrat in nas, s-a innecat si i-au dat lacrimile. Vazand ce s-a intamplat, Kei a izbucnit in ras. A inceput sa cante James Brown. Reiko s-a tarat pana la masa, a baut un pahar de vin cu menta dintr0o inghititura si a zis cu voce tare, Mama ce bun e!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Antivirus paling baru 2009
antivirus paling Update 2009
- kaspersky anti-virus November 2009
- norton antivirus 2009 (download)
- AVG anti-virus definition download november 2009
- ansav 2.0.50 oktober 2009 (download)
- avast anti-virus 2009
itu beberapa antivirus yang update pada taun 2009 khusunya bulan oktober..next update??tunggu aja..
smoga manfaat y! chaoo
Ladies: Ways to Maintain Our Sanity (Or to Convince Ourselves That We Still Have It)
Installment 1: Indulge.
Part of what drives us crazy is the fact that we don’t treat ourselves enough. We try to wait and save that which we desire for that “special occasion” that we don’t even know will come. So ladies, treat yourselves, because in the end, it’s just you that determines your happiness. What’d Katt Williams say? “It’s ESTEEM of yo’ mf’n SELF!” ha.
1. Take that extra 30 mins to an hour (or 2) in the bubble bath. Cut the lights off, maybe light the candles that look “too pretty to burn” and enjoy time with yourself. Got a boo? Invite him too.
2. When you get out, admire yourself in the mirror. Get to know what others see, and what they don’t see. Make funny faces (I do this religiously for about 20 minutes lol); practice that look or that smile that drives people crazy.
3. Those shoes? Yeah, those… Buy ‘em. Then come home, take a bath, and walk around in just those.
4. Metabolism varies from person to person. But whether you’re the type to eat a cracker and gain a pound, or eat a buffet and end up losing weight (however that happens.. but it does.. trust lol), EAT THAT EXTRA PIECE OF CHOCOLATE CAKE. Plus, it tastes so much better when it’s forbidden.
5. At the nail shop, when the Asian lady asks, “You wan’ deeluh (deluxe) pedicure?” Say yes. OR. Skip the nail shop, go straight to the spa. Pamper yourself. Request a male masseuse and take a trip to heaven. Got a boo? Get a Brazilian Wax… he’ll love you forever. If not, get the wax anyway. It’s a party in your pants.
6. It’s Saturday night and your friends are trying to drag you out to the club, but you really don’t want to go. Respectfully decline. Throw your robe in the dryer for about 20 minutes, wear just that, and watch the Oxygen Channel for their ‘Big Night In’ movie – which is usually a cute chick flick that will make you laugh and enjoy being a chick.
7. On the flip side, if you really feel like going out, and your friends are being homebodies, get casket-sharp (like my ma says lol). Those shoes that you paid wayyyy too much for, put ‘em on. Wear the dress that hugs your curves just right, and step out of your house walking looking smelling and feeling like a billion bucks. And flirt. We, as women, created and mastered the art of flirting. Do it and do it well.
8. That cute guy you see every morning when you go get your coffee? You know the one you barely speak to, but he gives you that look, and you give him that look back? Get his number.
9. Take some time off, and take that trip. To islands in the Pacific, to Europe, to South America. Wherever it is, just GO. One thing EVERYONE needs to do in their life is experience another culture. Plus, the cocktails on the beach at sunset aren’t bad either. Got a boo? Add sex to that. If not, the drinks are fine. I wouldn’t suggest sleeping with any of the “island men,” because I wrote a paper on AIDS and Sex Tourism in the Caribbean, and made a resolution never to do that. But hey, if that’s what you want to do… go for it.
10. The project that you always wanted to start, but just “didn’t have the time.” Make the time. Write, draw, paint, design, build, read — whatever. Go for it.
11. What have you always wanted to do, but too chicken shit to face what others may say? Get a piercing? Dye your hair? Get a tattoo? Do it.
Storytime: Last winter, I was having THE worst week in the history of Worst Weeks Ever. But, one day, I got a whole buncha “Fuck It” in my system and just indulged. I bought about 6 pairs of shoes that day, got a chocolate cake, ate half of it, went to a middle school pageant (my little sister won Miss 7th Grade; yea it runs in the family *wink*), went to a basketball game, and got 2 tattoos. That day obliterated my frustration that had built up that entire week.
Moral of the story: Indulge. Not too much, because the satisfaction from your indulgences becomes null and void, then you become gluttonous. Treat yourself. You’ll thank yourself when you’re 80.
P.S. I wanted to stop at 10, and if you know me, then, yes, having 11 is messing with my OCD. lol Leave me alone. If you have any that you’d like to add, then just comment & let me know.
- Dougie
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Ekstraservicen tas til nye høyder
Her er et innlegg jeg begynte på i natt og som gjøres ferdig nå i morgentmene, etter et noe merkelig siste døgn. Jeg dro dere inn i det, så her kommer fortsettelsen:
Jeg sitter med en litt sånn merkelig følelse.
Jeg sitter alene, men jeg har hatt selskap tidligere i kveld. Jeg får også selskap senere i natt.
Jeg skulle egentlig ut med Mr_Nova i kveld, men før jeg kom så langt tikket det inn en melding som gjorde at planene brått ble forandret.
Etter den ytterst gode servicen fra en viss håndtverker tidlig i dag, bestemte jeg meg for å skryte av han til firmaet han jobber for. For man skal skryte av folk også, ikke bare klage når man er misfornøyd, sier mamma´n min. Så da gjorde jeg nettopp det, og dro den faktisk så langt at jeg sa han hadde gjort dagen min bra med sin utrolige serviceinnstilling og gode humør.
I kveld tikket det altså inn en sms. Fra håndtverkeren, som sa at jeg hadde gjort dagen hans bedre også. Han fortalte at han skulle ha en rolig kveld p.g.a. bakvakt, og lurte på hva jeg skulle gjøre. Fordi Mr_Nova var her akkurat da, og kunne fortelle meg at han praktisk talt ropte “SKAL VI FINNE PÅ NOE SAMMEN”, sa jeg at jeg ikke hadde planer, og at vi kanskje kunne ta det rolig sammen. Det kunne vi.
Takk og lov for at Mr_Nova var innom sier jeg bare. Takk og lov for at Venninnen rev seg løs fra kjærsten sin en stakket stund, og takk og lov for at Mirakel tok seg tid til noen minutter på telefonen. Det forhindret både hyperventilering og full panikk, og brått sto han utenfor døren min.
Etter en tur på butikken fortsatte vi pratingen. Ikke fullt så lett som i morges, men det var vel heller ikke å forvente når man treffes for andre gang på 12 timer. Vi så en film, og vi fortsatte snakkingen. Om oss selv, om alt og ingenting, om hvor merkelig dette egentlig føltes.
For en halvtime siden ble han kalt ut på oppdrag. Vi ble enige om at han skulle komme tilbake etterpå, og han tok med seg nøkkelen min. Hva f*** er det jeg driver med?
Gir ut nøkkelen min til en vilt fremmed fyr!
Lar en vilt fremmed fyr komme innunder lagene mine!!
Også kom han tilbake, og posten ble aldri ferdig..
Da Håndtverkeren kom tilbake var jeg ganske sigen, og det føltes veldig godt å krølle seg sammen i armkroken hans. Om litt fant vi ut at vi skulle legge oss, og heldigvis var det ingen flere akutte ting den natten. Så vi har sovet sammen i natt. Tett inntil hverandre, og likevel litt fra hverandre. Vi er tross alt fremdeles fremmede for hverandre. Kosing og kyssing ble det selvfølgelig, så det var godt du gjorde som du gjorde Mr_Nova. Dette hadde blitt veldig vanskelig uten deg og dine handlinger
For en halvtime siden sto vi opp, og alt føltes i grunnen litt kleint. Jeg vet ikke hvorfor, men det føltes veldig greit at han var litt rask ut døren for å komme seg hjem.
Det siste han sa var:
“Men da snakkes vi da”
Men gjør vi egentlig det?
Den frasen der er velkjent for meg, som den frasen man slenger ut når man faktisk ikke har noen planer om å snakkes. Jeg bruker den selv, så dette vet jeg litt om
Mirakel spurte meg nettopp om jeg var glad i dag.
Det er jeg. Jeg er veldig glad for at jeg har klart å bryte flere mønster de siste 24 timene, og for at jeg har hatt noen utrolig fine siste 12 timer.
Ikke fullt så glad fordi hele situasjonene minner meg altfor mye om den siste gangen jeg var forelsket. Ikke så mange av dere vet hvordan det endte, men jeg tror Venninnen vel bekrefte at det ikke var særlig pent
Jeg er heller ikke særlig glad for å være inne i den perioden hvor man ikke helt vet hva den andre vil, føler og tenker. Jeg regelrett HATER den perioden!!
Kan vel ikke gjøre noe annet enn å avvente. Kanskje bør jeg ta kontakt å si noe om hva jeg tenker, men det var det å gjøre seg så ufattelig sårbar igjen da.
Det har jeg forsåvidt allerede gjort ved å treffe han, men siden dette er tiden for å bryte mønster måtte jeg jo bare. Vi får se hva helgen bringer.
Psykisk sliten frøken stempler seg ut for denne gang.
There are More Carrie Prejean Sex Tapes Out There?
RadarOnline is reporting this afternoon that there are eight Carrie Prejean sex tapes out there as well as 30 nude photos.
I don’t care about the sex tapes or about the photos. And, in the end, I don’t care all that much about Carrie Prejean either. What I do care about is a media that is doing its best to portray Prejean as a holier than thou conservative Christian but who, in private, behaves like a slut.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Thoughts might be deceiving, dreams might be misleading, believe in your feelings, for, feelings never lie.
Akkurat no: Tremble for my beloved – Collective soul
(what a sjokk, its a twilight soundtrack! eg er litt sulten)
“Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.” – Woody Allen
“Love is a serious mental disease.” – Plato
“Confidence is that feeling by which the mind embarks in great and honorable courses with a sure hope and trust in itself.” – Marcus Tulius Cicero
“Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music — the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.” – Henry Miller
“Our passions do not live apart in locked chambers but dress in their small wardrobe of notions, bring their provisions to a common table and mess together, feeding out of the common store according to their appetite.” – George Eliot
Kjelde
The Wank Nurse is now in residence. You can call me Cherry...
Ok, what do I need to tell you? My name is Cherry Mead, I was thrown off of Blogger.cum, I mean .com, because I was too rude and I clicked my own ads. I have an older, very charismatic (and technically married) boyfriend and a rockstar for a best friend. I live in London, I like sex, I hate women (unless it’s one of my boyfriend’s annual birthday threesomes in which case I’ll pretend to like them) and I like to bitch about people and generally be indescreet.
Can you handle that? Great – well we may as well get started and I’m sure you’ll pick it up as we go along.
So I fell out with the rock star the other day and, since then, he’s been leaving messages on my voicemail saying that he can’t get a hard on because he’s stressed and his girlfriend (the model) is starting to get stroppy. The way I see it she was always stroppy…
Anyway, they walked past a jewellers the other day and she pulled him to the window and announced that she wants a ring for Christmas. He doesn’t know if it’s her way of saying she wants a proposal for Christmas or if she does, genuinely, want a ring. Of course it’s the former. I know this because I want a ring too. Mr D (boyfriend) has clearly already ‘rung’ another, but that’s ok because there are 4 main stages to wanting a ring from a man and I’m only at level 2.
Let’s recap;
Level 1. They earn more than the national debt of a small country (he does) and therefore he’s likely to get you a diamond that you can sell when it’s all over and use the cash to buy a small flat in Kensington. Plus it’ll sparkle and the women in posh shops will be more polite when they serve you – oh and you can wear a tracksuit and they won’t asssume you’re there to shoplift.
Level 2. You do actually love them and you have no way of showing people that you’re part of a couple – a ring does that. Especially if engraved with the words “You are mine” It says to other men “Sorry, someone better looking than you, cleverer than you and with a bigger cock than you, beat you to it and bagged me already” It’s a ‘fuck you’ to the bloke who chats you up at the party or tries to talk to you in the supermarket queue. Actually I would never queue for anything. Or go to a supermaket come to that, but I want to appear normal until you start to like me.
Level 3. You want to pretend to be engaged/married. Shortly after you have the ring you’ll start to practice his surname after yours with a hyphen. You’ll start to call him “my hubby” in the misguided and slightly sinister belief that it could just be a pet name and not an abbreviation of husband. You’ll wear the ring on your wedding finger (at this point I retract my Level 2 and place myself at Level 2.5) and you’ll start to fantasise about picking up his socks and cooking for him (ok, I’m back to Level 2 again)
Level 4. He uses a condom and you wait until he’s asleep and then try and soak his sperm up with a cotton bud before balancing on one foot with the other up on the edge of the bath while trying to find your cervix. You still pick his socks up, but you keep one for your shrine – it’ll look great next to the clippings of pubes you cut off while he was sleeping and the wax effigy of his cock. You need the ring so the psychic voodoo witch you’re paying can use it to summon the love spell you’re going to need in order to make sure this one doesn’t get away.
I’m thinking the model is at Level 3 with some cock effigy tendencies.
The thing is I’m still pissed with the rock star and not in the mood for sorting out his petty problems, so I sent a text:
I’m pissed with you. You can be such a wanker! Just buy her a bloody ring – it’s just jewellery ffs.
And so I have my revenge. I’ve sent the rock star off into the snake pit that is buying a ring for a woman with the belief that he can’t go wrong and the whole of the rest of his relationship doesn’t depend on him getting the right ring. Ha! That’ll teach him to piss me off.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
MP3
Hingga memasuki tahun kelima sejak reformasi digulirkan birokrasi pemerintah belum memperhatikan tanda-tanda kemajuan yang berarti, hal ini tercermin dari masih tingginya penyalagunaan kewenangan dalam bentuk Korupsi, Kolusi dan Nepotisme (KKN), tidak efisiennya organisasi pemerintahan di pusat dan daerah, rendahnya kualitas pelayanan publik dan lemahnya fungsi lembaga pengawasan sehingga banyak kelemahan birokrasi yang belum menampakkan tanda-tanda dilakukannya perbaikan. Kiranya tidak berlebihan jika presiden menyatakan bahwa “kinerja birokrasi amburadul,sulit dikendalikan dan tidak memiliki inisiatif untuk turut menyukseskan agenda negara
Peran birokrasi yang propesional, yang mampu menyiptakan kondisi yang kondusif dan mendukung terpenuhinya kebutuhan masyarakat agar masyarakat mampu melakukan kegiatan lainnya secara mendiri belum nampak. Sala satu penyebab ketidakprofesionalan tersebut adalah adanya ketidakseimbangan antara kewenangan hak dan tanggung jawab, ketidakseimbangan ini pada akhirnya mengakibatkan kecenderungan yang tinggi dikalangan pegawai pemerintah untuk menyalagunakan kewenangan dan bersikap apatis atau tidak termotifasi dalam melaksanakan tugas dan fungsinya, oleh kerena itu diperlukan berbagai upaya serius dan tegas dalam mencoba perbaikan birokrasi kita, upaya tersebut perlu dilakukan agar bira krasi mampu keluar dari penyakit kronis KKN yang diidapnya dalam semua tingkatan pemerintahan, pada hampir semua lembaga dan kegiatannya.
Reformasi birokrasi juga sangat diperlukan untuk menciptakan clean dan good governance, sebagai sala satu negara terkorup, kita telah menjadi bulan-bulanan dan bahan ejekan dalam pergaulan antar bangsa. Betapa tidak, berbagai peraturan perundang-undangan yang telah dikeluarkan untuk mengatasi berbagai tindakan KKN di lingkungan pemerintah ternyata sampai saat ini belum mampu mengendalikan korupsi bahkan korupsi cenderung makin meleber pada hampir seluruh jini kepemerintahan temasuk juga pada lembaga-lembaga tinggi negara. Sebenarnya kesungguhan awal untuk melakukan pemberantasan KKN telah ditetapkan melalui Tap MPR No. IV/MPR/1999 tentang GBHN dalam salah satu arah kebijakan penyelenggara negara yang menyatakan perlunya “membersihkan penyelenggara negara dari praktik KKN dengan memberikan sanksi yang seberat-beratnya sesuai dengan ketentuan hukum yang berlaku, meningkatkan efetivitas pengawasan internal dan fungsional serta pengawasan masyarakat, dan mengembangkan etika dan moral”. Kemudian UU No. 28 tahun 1999 tantang penyelenggaraan negara yang besih dari KKN serta UU No. 31 tahun 1999 j.o. UU No. 30 tahun 2002 tentang tindak pidana korupsi. UU tersebut juga mengamanatkan dibentuknya komisi pemberantasan tindak pidana korupsi (KPTPK)
Sex is like... exercise? housework?
jogging pic by the.leafmaker
Missy says:
Okay, seriously, sex for me is often a lot like exercise or, yes, even housework.
I think about it, but it seems too hard. So I put it to the back of my mind and the guilt stabs away at me, gnawing and building up and edging into my thoughts. A generalized anxiety builds… “I’m sure there’s something I should be doing…”
And, just like with exercise and housework, the longer I put it off, the more difficult it is to get into it.
But, just like exercise and housework, once I start, I’m really into it. I’m getting sweaty and messy but I’m feeling really good. And afterwards, as I’m heading to the shower, I’m buzzing with all those great feel-good hormones and I’m making a pledge to that more often!!
Just do it! Sexercise!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Cheryl Cole ‘targeted in big money internet sex plot’
A British man has threatened Cheryl Cole to pay him millions of pounds or he would continue to shame her with a porn X-rated website, it has emerged.
The 55-year-old Martin McCann owns the rights of cherylcole.cc, a site through which he has already started embarrassing the X Factor judge.
The webpage shows pics of the 26-year-old Cole next to the words “3 Words: Sex Sex Sex”.
And McCann has no plans to relent.
He plans to post loads of nude photos on the site or sell the to a porn firm unless Cole buys the site herself.
“If Cheryl wants it she can have it but only for the right money,” the Daily Star quoted McCann, as saying.
The India-based McCann, originally from Harrow, Middlesex, had tried his luck with David Beckham last year, when he had demanded 5million pounds to stop making condom’s named after the footie’s three sons.
Source
Erectile Dysfunction, Viagra and God's Will
Psychology and Erectile dysfunction
Impotence and Erectile Dysfunction support group
As I suspected and as is borne out by the support group, the partners of men who are having problems should be aware than many men are still significant pleasure and satisfaction via oral attentions. If it’s done lovingly and patiently, it will often work.
A Partner’s role
Given the time and attention that a guy might need from his partner, it is important to broach these issue as early as possible in the relationship. As important as sex can be to a man, it you never managed to get the subject discussed, it might be time to move on and find a partner who cares enough about you to know how important sex is to you.
Erectile Dysfunction, Viagra and God’s Will
I doubt that many if any orthodox churches agree with the forgoing. But I found it helpful and encouraging.
Traveling Naked
Avoid a fat head
It is better to be drunk than wasted
How to Travel Naked
Still Sexy after all these years
Killing you softly
FUtus
GaGaWeen
Happy GaGaWeen!
Going GaGa!
GooGoo GaGa
Oct 31 is dress up like Lady GaGa day. Halloween is canceled!
Happy GaGaWeen!
Twin Bedpans overlooking a septic tank
Still Sexy after all these years
Killing you softly
FUtus
GaGaWeen
Happy GaGaWeen!
Going GaGa!
GooGoo GaGa
Oct 31 is dress up like Lady GaGa day. Halloween is cancelled!
Happy GaGaWeen!
Online Job Search
Government Work
Job Search
Job Search for the Older Worker
Saturday, November 7, 2009
he thinks im dumb
smh this nigga thinks im done i know whats going on. the longer i make him wait for sex the more he moves away from me. bunk that hes NOT fooling me he can try to but ummmm it NOT going to work. i mean i wish it could have worked cause hes a bad boy but hes not all bad he does have some good in him. however he cant wait and to tell the truth the fact that hes being MIA is making my want to hold out on him even longer so i guess to can say its his fault that hes going to have to wait longer then i planed.
anywho nothing really happened today besides me watching the Rihanna interview [if anyone wants to know my thoughts on that hit up www.naybesa.com] and that was some bull but other then that i chilled cleaned up my room and thought about where i went wrong and why im wasting my time and energy on Daddy. oh well its life you learn from it and soon move on.
**BESAS**
Tiesto
DJ Tiesto is guaranteed to take you and your babe of choice to another level. While I prefer a full blown rave with countless rave monsters beer bonging water and massaging each other, this concert is bound to be a good time. The concert is going down November 25, 27, 28 and is at the Shrine right by USC. Ladies, shacking at SC shouldn’t be a problem and none of your friends or colleagues have to know you took several performance enhancers and ended up in a tantric orgy with 5 rave babies and 2 TKE pledges. Get your tickets at Ticketmaster.com.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Linh Hot - em gái Thủy Top hay Thùy Linh?
Em gái của Thủy Top?
Rất nhiều ý kiến thảo luận đã được đưa ra nhưng chưa ai biết chính xác về chủ nhân của bộ ảnh đó cả. Dù báo chí đã vào cuộc nhưng cũng không có thêm thông tin nào cụ thể, ngoài việc nêu ra hiện tượng “ăn theo” người nổi tiếng. Về phía Thủy Top cũng chưa có bất kỳ phản hồi nào về sự kiện này. Do đó, OnlyU đã nhận được khá nhiều message hỏi về thông tin của cô gái này. Thể theo yêu cầu của đông đảo bạn đọc, nhân dịp đầu năm Kỷ Sửu, OnlyU xin giới thiệu thông tin sơ bộ về cô gái này cũng như bổ sung thêm những bức ảnh để bạn đọc có góc nhìn nhiều chiều hơn.
Sau khi được cư dân mạng gọi là “em gái Thủy Top”, Thùy Linh (thường được gọi là Linh Milan, Linh Yuna, Linh Hậu đường…) ngày càng nổi tiếng tại trường Đại học Dân lập Văn Lang và địa bàn quê nhà (Nha Trang – Khánh Hòa) cũng như nơi cô sinh sống tại Tp. Hồ Chí Minh.
Tuy nhiên, sau sự kiện “em gái Thủy Top”, Linh Milan thường được biết đến nhiều hơn với nick name Linh Hot với hàm ý đã trở thành hot girl và nghe cho giống Thủy Top, cũng như để phân biệt Linh Milan với Vàng Anh (Linh Angel) và Milan Phạm.
Linh Hot hiện học khoa Tài chính Kế toán, trường Đại học Dân lập Văn Lang nhưng chúng bạn cho biết Linh Hot cũng rất hay nghỉ học để kinh doanh bên ngoài.
Thùy Linh – “em gái Thủy Top” hiện đang học Đại học Dân lập Văn Lang
Về chị em trên giấy tờ, Thủy Top chỉ có 1 chị gái ruột là Huỳnh Minh Thu, sinh năm 1982 và vẫn đang sống cùng Thủy Top ở Bà Triệu, Hà Nội, trong khi Linh Yuna lại đang sống và học tập tại Tp. Hồ Chí Minh. Vậy giữa Linh Hot và Thủy Top có dây mơ rễ má gì đến nhau như đồn đại hay đơn thuần chỉ là Linh Hot giống Thủy Top ở ngoài hình hay thôi?
Câu trả lời chính xác, có khi Thủy Top và Linh Milan cũng chưa biết. Tuy nhiên, theo bạn bè nhận xét, có thể do có gương mặt hao hao giống Thủy Top, lại biết sử dụng Photoshop nên khi Linh Yuna đưa một số bức ảnh của mình lên mạng, cư dân mạng đã truyền tay nhau và đồn đại đấy là “em gái Thủy Top”.
Có điều ít người biết, không chỉ có ngoại hình khá giống Thủy Top (có thể do chỉnh sửa Photoshop), Linh Hot còn có cái tên giống hệt Hoàng Thùy Linh. Nếu như muốn ăn theo và nổi tiếng, không rõ Linh Hot sẽ nhận mình là em gái của Thùy Linh hay Thủy Top khi 2 người “chị” của mình đang bất hòa?
Mặc dù được cư dân mạng coi là “em gái Thủy Top”, nhưng thực tế Linh Hot lại sinh năm 1987, tức ra đời trước cả Thủy Top (1989) và thậm chí cả Thùy Linh (1988). Như vậy, nếu xét về ngôi thứ thì “em gái của Thủy Top” lại là “chị gái của Thùy Linh” và “chị gái của Thủy Top”.
Linh Yuan tự nhận mình là sexy, shock và kute ^^
Chưa rõ thực hư việc Thùy Linh tự đưa những hình ảnh, trong đó có khá nhiều cái giống Thủy Top nhằm mục đích gì nhưng vụ việc đang ngày càng thú vị khi Linh Yuna có gương mặt giống Thủy Top trong khi lại có cái tên của Thùy Linh và 3 người chỉ cách nhau 1 năm. Dù cho hiện nay cả 3 chưa có gì liên quan trực tiếp đến nhau (ngoại trừ Linh Angel và Thủy Top từng là đôi bạn thân) nhưng chỉ có Chúa mới biết điều gì đã và sẽ xảy ra.
Growing My Relationships
My life is in the “life is great” stage with both my husband and my boyfriend. Each of my relationships are growing in ways that make me stop and marvel. The journey here was hard-fought.
Gator is so encouraging in regards to my relationship with Tech. He seems to be really feeling compersion for me these days. Can any of you who are not poly imagine how loved that makes me feel?
Tech is being…what is the word…attentive? Openly loving? Reaching out to me? I guess all of those explain what he seems to be doing lately. He is calling me more often. Sharing more things with me. Just making me feel loved in general.
Things are good between myself and both my men and I’m basking in this while it lasts. I’m not delusional enough not to know that we will have problems at some point. Any relationship does.
It’s amazing that each relationship feeds the other one I have. A circle is flowing here that Kitten’s behavior this weekend couldn’t really break. It caved a side of the circle for a bit while I let that get to me more than I might should have but, it ended up bouncing off the circle and it forming as it should be again.
I find myself wanting to talk with both of them throughout the day. Previously, I may have wanted/needed to talk with one more than the other depending on how my relationship with each was going. I’m in such a good place with both of them that my wants and needs for each are on more of an equal footing. I miss them both while I am at work. I look forward to possibly hearing from each of them throughout the day. I’m usually in touch with Tech a bit more during the day than Gator but, I get to spend time with Gator personally more each day for the most part.
Tech went to church with me while both Gator and Kitten worked Sunday morning. I can not explain how important that was to me. How much I enjoyed spending time with him doing that. I have never been to church with Tech before. I enjoyed doing the same with Gator the week before even though we both have spent many hours in church together in the past. I very much look forward to the day I can attend church with the both at the same time. I very much look forward to being able to claim a relationship with both of them at this church.
Speaking of claiming a relationship with both of them at the same time…we all got together with friends Monday night and in this group was a new young woman. I got to introduce Gator as my husband and Tech as my boyfriend. Awesome! Yes, as many of you know, I think of Tech more as another husband but, he has such fun with the terms boyfriend and girlfriend. Besides, as hard as the concept is for some to get the having a husband and a boyfriend, is seems to be harder for some reason for them to understand the concept of two husbands. Does that make sense to me? No. Both “labels” say I have two men in my life that I love.
I am such a lucky woman. All the time…whether things are going well all around or not. But I float on a cloud for a bit when things are going as they are now.
My heart is overflowing with the love I am getting from them both. And the love I am feeling for both of them.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Gay Marriage an End to Queer Sex & Queer Life?
Two articles, by Yasmin Nair and Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore and both posted on the Bilerico Project blog, are extremely important in terms of anti-assimilationist analysis about the gaystream agenda. An anti-assimilationist POV and stand for social justice for all is what I believe in. NOT a we-are-just-like-everyone-else agenda. Here is a scary article about some LGBT people who ARE in fact just like their straight married counterparts. Except they are gay and lesbian…Go figure.
Everything a Big, Bad Wolf Could Want
"Little Red Riding Hood" by Gustave Dore
[Little Red Riding Hood - Sam the Sham]
This story is another challenge post between Amy of Sex, Chocolate, and Red Lipstick, Z of Phaedra Fallen and I. The challenge was Fairy Tale Erotica, 1000-1500, and I am over a day late. Oops! Check out their blogs to see Cinderella and Snow White, Rose Red. But just a warning, this particular story is a little dark, and while it is certainly sexual, it might not be as ‘hot’ as some of my other posts. The original Little Red story is incredibly morbid and I wanted to keep that feel (though I admit I left out the part about her drinking her grandmother’s blood from a wine bottle…). My final disclaimer is that the Little Red character is of the age of consent where I grew up (sixteen), and not the child she is in the original story.
Once Upon a Time,
Little Red Riding Hood grew up, as little girls do. She married the Huntsman not but three days after he saved her from the Wolf, a prim and youthful bride of sixteen with rosy cheeks and a dark little secret which kept her wet between the thighs. She cried out on her wedding night, but not because she was a virgin, only because he wasn’t the Wolf. That night, and many nights after, she sobbed softly into her pillow after her husband had gone to sleep, letting her hands coax from her clit sad, wonderful orgasms as she remembered her secret over and over again.
She remembered his large, calloused hands touching her trembling lip, reaching up and pushing the hood of her little red cloak away off her head, stroking her dark ringlets… She knew he was bad, knew Mother’s warnings, but there was something so teasing about his smile, something hidden at the side of a smirk, a hint of a fang, maybe, but more like a dare to be bad. Oh, all little girls want to be bad, sure enough, and all little girls want to succumb to a bad man once or twice in their lives. And he was the worst, which, as far as she could tell as a good little girl who wanted to be bad, made him the best.
She protested, of course. She was expected to, wasn’t she? And with every feeble no, he seemed to smile a little wider. He asked her where she was going. She knew she shouldn’t say, but the words tumbled from her mouth like precious pearls and he gathered them up with care, as if she didn’t realize he was a rogue, a thief, and certainly not to be trusted. He led her down the path a little further, pointing one of those large hands toward a field of wildflowers.
She gave in. Less to bring something pretty to her grandmother and more to please him, to do as he had said and gather a bouquet of the best. She felt his eyes, hungry, following her through the field, settling her pert new bosom and rounded backside. She knew he was behind her when she bent to pick up the perfect little bunch of bluebells, and she felt exhilarated and terrified when he pressed himself hard into the back of her skirt. He reached his arms around her, catching at her wrists as her basket of goodies for her grandmother toppled to the ground. Her heart was in her throat and between her thighs, as he held her captive against him, his strange, masculine hardness pushing into her soft buttocks.
“Please,” she whimpered softly, suddenly sure this game was too adult for her, but he forced her to face him. His mouth was rough, and he nipped at her lips with sharp teeth. Her knees buckled and he grasped tight onto her arms, leaving huge handprints on her flesh from a necessity to hold her up. His tongue tasted her, moving from mouth to ear to neck, nibbling at her skin and savoring her salty-sweet flavor.
Finally, he let her fall to the earth, crushing the perfect bluebells. He undid the laces on his trousers and there was furry hair everywhere, and in the midst of it all, his hard, eager cock. He put it in front of her cherry lips and she stared up at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. He wrapped her curls around his fingers and pulled, and then she understood what he meant. She took his cock into her mouth, tentative, but he showed her what to do with each painful tug of her hair.
He nearly howled when he came, pulling himself from between her lips to cum hot and sticky across those rosy cheeks and down her dimpled chin. He smiled down at her, that twisted, fanged smile, and then he ran off, leaving her in the dirt. She stared after him, licking her lips, enjoying the strange, foul taste he’d left there, an odd delight spreading over her body.
She had gathered up the bread and biscuits for Grandmother, tucking them neatly back into the basket before finding the path once more. She couldn’t get his thick, hard cock out of her mind. She wanted more of it. She wanted him to pull her curls once more and make her heart beat faster in her chest. She felt slippery and moist, ready and not at the same time.
She opened Grandmother’s door slowly when she arrived, expecting her to be sleeping soundly in her bed. She saw instead the dark form of him, and she felt a rush of fear and excitement.
“Grandmother,” she called softly, and he stirred in the bed, pulling the bedclothes up over his face. “Is that you? What shall I do with my basket?”
“Oh, little dear,” he answer, his falsetto obvious and his smirk of a smile trickling into his tone. “Come get undressed and climb into bed with your sweet grandmother.”
“But Grandmother, where should I put my basket?”
“Oh, onto the table, dear! You shan’t be needing it anymore.”
“And Grandmother, where should I put my apron?”
“Throw it into the fire, dear, you shan’t be needing that anymore, either.”
She untied her apron and dropped it into the flames. “And my bodice, Grandmother?”
“Throw it onto the fire!”
“My dress, too, and my petticoats?”
“And your stockings and your shoes but…” he looked at her, shivering and naked except for her brilliant red cloak wrapped around her body. “Leave on your little red riding hood and come climb into bed with me.”
She climbed into the bed, nervous and barely able to breathe as she realized he was also completely nude. “Grandmother, how hairy you are!”
“Oh, the better to keep warm, my dear.”
“Grandmother, what big arms you have!” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, his dick erect and pressing into her thigh.
“The better to carry firewood with, my dear.” She gasped as his hands pulled and teased her nipples, tracing down her stomach to wriggle in between her legs.
“Grandmother, what big hands you have…!”
“The better to hold you with, my dear.” He climbed on top of her and she stared into his face.
“Grandmother, what big ears you have…” His mouth twitched and he smiled, leaning in close and murmuring to her in his own voice,
“The better to hear you with, my dear.”
“Grandmother, what big eyes you have,” she said to him.
“The better to see you with, my dear,” and he slid himself into her. She cried out, first in pain, then in pleasure, as he began to fuck her. He held her arms down, one of his large hands able to clasp her two wrists, but she did not struggle. Instead, she let her body rise and fall to meet his, frenzied and rousing. His free hand reach beneath the bedclothes, sweetly tormenting parts of her body she had never knew existed.
She felt herself burst. Her body tensed in unknown joy around his as she fell into his wild brown eyes. As she started to relax, he began to thrust harder, untamed, harder and harder and harder into her until it hurt again and she cried out once more, loudly. He closed his eyes, a grotesque serenity on his face, before she felt him cum, hot and filthy and fantastic inside her.
“Grandmother, what a big mouth you have…” she whispered as he lay next to her, and he turned to look at her, that hunger in his eyes no less abated. He smiled his awful smile and bared his fangs.
“The better to eat you with!” She shrank back as he lunged at her, not knowing if he was going to bite her or kiss her.
She never knew, for at that very moment, the Huntsman murdered the Wolf, his blood spilling over her, masking her own loss of innocence spattered on the bedsheets. She was supposed to be happy, grateful, and now, a good wife, and she threw her blood-soaked cloak into the river to forget. But somethings are never forgotten, replayed underneath her fingertips while tears roll down her cheeks, and no one actually lives happily after after.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Hot Swinging Stories for the Sexually Fluid!
Here’s a fascinating quote from a blog about a Scientific American research article on bisexuality: “Interestingly, [the author] also found that as women age, they become more aware of their sexual fluidity, and thus tend to turn more toward bisexuality than away from it.”
That would definitely be true at our house, where we discovered a few years back that both of us love to read f/f erotic scenes as well as sizzling m/f scenes. It wasn’t much of a leap from reading them to writing them – and once we’d opened up that possibility, new ones beckoned: three-way, four-way and more, in all sorts of combinations, crafted for heightened erotic excitement. Writing them is a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it!
For sure it’s true in the home of Jennifer Andrews, heroine of our Swinging Games series at Extasy Books. Discovering her bisexuality is the main reason Jen and her husband ventured into the swinging world at mid life. Reviewers at Whipped Cream, San Diego Erotica Books Examiner and Fallen Angels Reviews all agree the series is a smashing success!
San Diego Erotica Books Examiner – Four Stars!
This is a sexual tale of a woman named Jennifer, who discovers after many years of marriage that she is bisexual. Her husband Brett, is more than happy to indulge her by getting into the swing of things. This story is hot … imagination takes on a life of its own. Don’t let this one pass you by.
Fallen Angel Reviews – Five Angels!
Hookups is a fun quick read full of sexual fantasies, lust and passion. If Adriana Kraft writes to entertain, she has succeeded with Hookups… While the sex scenes are explicit, Ms. Kraft handles the content well. She has managed to write a unique love story with a twist. The characters are well rounded, each with their own idiosyncrasies that endear them to the reader. I’m interested to see if we are going to find out more about Jen and Brett and their band of merry swingers; I hope so.
Whipped Cream Reviews – Four Cherries!
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I started reading A Tempting Taste Swinging Games 2. The title pretty much summarized the premise, but my oh my, did I underestimate just how scorching hot those next seventy or so pages were going to be!…Brett and Jen are not your typical gorgeous twenty or thirty-year olds. They are in their fifties, and some of their “partners” are older than that. It was also refreshing to read, and is something that is rarely found…This is something you read when you want straight up hotness, because there is plenty to go around!
The next installment in the series will be out in just two weeks, on November 11:
What happens when the neighbors find out? Jen and Brett Andrews’ swinging world turns upside down when it comes too close to home – will their friends keep their secret? Will they have to stop swinging, or worse yet, move? What if the friends want to join in? Delectable complexities unfold as Jen and Brett continue their swinging adventures!
On the Verandah
Last night I caught up with an old friend. Seven years ago, as a result of “life’s upheavals”, marital break up for her, move interstate for me; we shared a home together. The house was in a cul de sac in a very family oriented suburb. Don’t ask what two thirty something professional women and a dog were doing living there, we definitely didn’t fit the stereo type. However we firmly believe to this day, that we kept the neighbors entertained with what we fondly termed our “verandah sessions”.
It was a colonial style, two storey, four bedroom family home, flanked by verandahs all round. The back balcony was long and wide, although located reasonably close to 3 neighbour’s properties. We could often hear them, so we figured they could hear us. We had great views across the local reserve that was a few streets away as the house was situated on top of a hill. I used to love sitting out there looking at the stars.
Anyway getting back to our verandah sessions, we would sit out there smoking cigarettes drinking wine and talking. Our conversations were erudite and enlightening and usually revolved around men and sex. The more wine we consumed the more enlightening and amusing (at least to us) our conversations became and the more we got into the nitty gritty of men and sex.
We never heard the neighbours during our verandah sessions, which we eventually realised was because they were so engrossed in listening and learning from our conversations that they kept quite. We were our own unique version of “Sex and the Suburbs” I was Carrie with a hint of Miranda and she was definitely Samantha. There was no Charlotte!
Anyway I caught up with this friend last night. The plan was that we would catch a movie and then go onto some trendy new cafe for a bite to eat and maybe a bit of talent spotting. I arrived at her place late, (par for the course). After admiring my retail therapy efforts from that afternoon; a gorgeous pair of Sergio Rossi shoes, that aren’t two inches too high and half a size too small, (really they’re not!) and a very bright fuchsia pink wallet that my friend assures me I can carry off (besides it matches the shoes), we ended up opening a bottle of wine (nice sparkling red D’Arenburg Peppermint Paddock,) and then another bottle of wine (Torbreck Shiraz yumm), sitting on her back deck laughing and talking about men and sex. It was just like old times (minus the cigarettes).
She finally fessed up the identity of her clandestine shag 4 years ago. I had known all about it at the time, but no matter how hard I tried, I could never get her to disclose his identity. This drove me crazy! Although I will never tell (girlfriend’s code of conduct), it cracked me up when I finally found out who it was. Now I know why she never disclosed!!
It made me realise that there is no therapy like sharing a laugh with a friend.