Saturday, October 17, 2009

Sexual deviations are a fun party topic

Write that 1000 times...

In psychology, Paraphilias refer to all sexual deviations. Lately, I have been liberally using the word VOYEUR (voyeurism is a paraphilia characterized by individuals getting aroused by watching other naked or performing sexual acts) to describe the way I have been living life for the past couple of months. I feel like someone that has been just observing life, although done attentively, it has been just observation, no real action.

Immersed in this insight, I started to think that it is possible to establish a parallelism between other Paraphilias and the way people face and live life. Here are some examples:

Sadist: [Obtains pleasure from inflicting pain on others.] Consider here your criminals, gangbangers, extortionists, con-artists and anyone else with no real regard for others’ suffering or pain.

Hurt me...please

Masochist: [The desire to suffer, be beaten, bound or otherwise humiliated.] You know the kind, the ones that always have a story of injustice that has been done unto them, the perennial victims and the drama queens.

Autagonistophilia: [Being on stage or on camera.] Your attention whores. The ones that need to be the object of people’s attention all the time, for example the stupid parents of “Balloon Boy”.

Autoerotic Asphyxiation: [Self-induced asphyxiation, sometimes to the point of near unconsciousness.] You know the type, your friend that’s always putting him/herself in dyer situations just so that he can miraculously pull him/herself out of them in the last possible minute.

Frotteurist: [Rubbing against a non-consenting person.] You know that guy in high school that wasn’t really your friend but he used to hang out around you all the time? Whatever you had would rub-off on him and he would use it to “survive”. Same thing with that person in the office that never really contributes to anything but is always taking credit for someone else’s labor…you know them well.

Mammaphiliac: [Aroused by breasts.] Basically, all men (and some women).

Fetishist: [Aroused by objects.] Materialists, people that are all about stuff and what they can have.

Zoophiliac: [Aroused by animals.] Oh, I hate these ones and you probably do too. Member of PETA but has absolutely no regard for the humans around them. The type that complains about President Obama killing a fly but hasn’t called their own mother in 15 years.

Ursusagalmatophiliac: [Aroused by Teddy Bears.] Actually, I couldn’t think of a parallel for this one but it was just too damned good to not mention!

I like to watch

Voyeur: [Enjoys watching other naked or performing sexual acts without participating.] Like I have been, just an observer of life, someone that watches everything but doesn’t really do much. It’s sad but true. As clever as I seem to be, I have been doing NOTHING for myself or my life lately.

Discovering oneself as a recovering voyeur is not fun but it is the first step on the way to recovery.

I think that since I’m creating parallels, I might as well go all the way (pun intended). When it comes to life, one can choose to be any of the Paraphilias but I think I chose wrong. I left one important paraphilia out of my list.

Sex Addict: [Can never satisfy his/her sexual desire. Always wants more.] Who knew that when it comes to life, this seems to be the most sensible choice? I want to be a sex addict for life! I should always want more of it, I should never be satisfied just with what I have gotten so far, I should always be out there looking for new experiences and more of what life has to offer.

I know it’s a bit of an extreme conclusion but I think it needs to be.  I am a sex addict for life!

Little bag o'tricks

For a list of other interesting Paraphilias, visit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_paraphilias

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