I indeed got to spend time with L [and his buddies, plus two extra] on his birthday. Thank goodness this means we’re only 1.5 years apart, so I feel less like a pedobear.
Before the party, we lounged together on the couch. He has a typical Asian boy build, but a bit more solid than previous amorous acquaintances. I enjoyed feeling his shoulder muscles shift every time he moved, and he had his hand on my thigh, creeping ever upward. It made me hot. I think I really would’ve fucked him that night if I didn’t have any moral reservations. And by moral, I actually mean social — the v-card is already gone; I just can’t have anybody finding out. Also, despite our clear physical connection, we’re still not completely comfortable around each other. [Say no to awkward sex!]
At the party, we ended on a roomy one-seat couch, with me in his lap. The noise level forced us to speak very intimately, and at one pint I asked how close he was to each of the three friends he had brought.
“Buddy #1 and I are this close,” he said, and kissed me on the cheek — a first.
“Buddy #2 and #3 are like this,” he continued, leaning in. I expected a kiss on the other cheek, but he went for the lips. Bold and unforeseen! I really didn’t anticipate enjoying it that much. I also felt iffy about kissing a half-drunk person, but at least I couldn’t smell or taste the beer he had been guzzling.
Before all that happened, I asked him, “What is it that you want from me?”
“I really don’t know,” he answered. This is a strange path to navigate.
This is what his Facebook status said after we parted ways at night:
Well, maybe he should make up his mind so we can figure out what to do about this situation. It seems that neither of us wants a relationship, but there’s more potential than just a one-night stand. Do I really have enough shamelessness to become fuck buddies with a freshman? Frankly, I don’t trust him or his friends enough to keep that kind of thing under wraps. That kind of scandal would immediately oust me from any leadership position in my fellowship, which is unacceptable.
Either way, anything we do would have to wait until I return from studying abroad. Hopefully he will have matured greatly by then. I also need to prepare my inflated pride in case the boy decides to move on.
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