Whenever a relationship is new or even if I just like somebody, I’m a little reluctant to tell my friends. I know, I know, they’re my friends, and it’s not that I don’t trust them, it’s that I don’t trust it. I worry about it going wrong, or me being hurt, and having an audience when it all goes balls up. Fear is not a good motivation for anything, I know, but I never seem to be able to help myself.
In my first few weeks at university, my girlfriend Charles was seeing one of our good friends. We all knew she was sleeping with him, but for some reason the two of them felt it was better to keep it a secret. He would come round for a while, we’d all talk in the kitchen, then he’d go home. A couple of minutes later, she’d go out ‘for a walk’. No-one asked any questions, but we all knew what was going on. The two of them stopped seeing each other sometime before Christmas because as it turned out, she had feelings for him, whereas he just saw her as a quick lay.
Fast forward a couple of months and one of my other girlfriends is trying to break up with her boyfriend of two years. They go to the same university. He’s not back from Christmas break yet, and she seems to have been spending a lot of time with that guy Charles was previously seeing. We all went out Friday, and they spent a really really long time hugging. Then she keeps going out, to ‘a friends’ supposedly, and tonight when he came over and we chatted for a while, he went to her room and I don’t think he left. What it is about keeping stuff like this a secret? Does it make it even more of a big deal if no-one knows about it?
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