Just a quick update on our TTC journey:
I was so hopeful! Great progesterone numbers and well over a week late. But unfortunately, it was too good to be true. Friday was a very tough day/night for me. First of all, I am not used to all these extra hormones in my body, and I think that at age 27 I finally have learned what PMS is. Wow, hormones can make me one moody mommy-wannabe. I had at least 4 short crys over it, but I’m okay now. Certainly disappointed. And much poorer. I took an at home PT every day I was late (because I couldn’t wait to know) totaling over $70. Then add nearly $35 to that for the OPK, and another $20 for my Clomid, and the $30+ for the blood draw. I guess all of these extra expenses will help me learn to adjust my budget for diapers or other baby expenses.
I am considering taking a few months off of drugs (aka: clomid) after this month if it is not successful. If not this one then shortly thereafter. I am not willing to undergo a bunch of invasive treatments. Also, I don’t like how lovemaking is becoming sex. It isn’t always that way, but I feel like TTC for a long period of time really takes the romance out of the intimate part of a relationship. I want to hang on to that romance, so if it means taking a few months “off” where there are no OPK’s or Clomid then it is worth it to me. My husband is the most wonderful man in the world and it is so important to me to keep things as alive in our marriage as possible. I am sure that sounds desperate in a way, but if you’ve ever been in a bad relationship you may be able to relate. My bad experience was my first marriage which was a sexless marriage. It is such an important part of a loving healthy relationship. I’m not desperate, just in love and am grateful for my husband.
Speaking of keeping romance in the relationship…we will be celebrating our one year wedding anniversary this month! I have a very steamy gift for my hubby. (For those of you who do not like personal details I have whited out this section. To make the words magically appear, highlight the white section following this and there will be a reverse black image for you to read.): I had a two day photo shoot with my wedding photographer since we were also models for her for competition photos. So…before day two’s official shoot on the beach and in the ocean, we took some TASTEFUL boudoir/lingerie shots. My photographer sent me a text a couple days ago saying the photos are ready and that she is having her assistant mail them out on Wednesday. Can’t wait to see how they turned out. It is so not like me to do anything like that, so I’m sure he will be totally surprised. We have a strict no strippers, no porn philosophy in our relationship. But I understand that men are very visual creatures, so I hope that he enjoys this gift. And, someday when I am 30 years older, I will look at my young body and appreciate that I documented my former youth.
So, back to the TTC process. I mentioned adoption to my husband a night or two ago. He doesn’t think we are ready for that yet and is convinced that we will have our own biological children. I think it has always been in my heart to adopt. Even we are lucky to have one or two biological children I would still love to adopt! Personally, I think it would be very healthy for us to adopt now so that I feel less pressure on myself to get pregnant. Chad is not ready for that, so it I guess it isn’t an option and I need to get that idea out of my head.
Well, on to month three of clomid. I hope it does the trick again with getting my progesterone numbers right where they need to be. That was definitely one BIG positive of last month. Good luck to all my readers out there who are also on their TTC/motherhood journey.
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