This here is a hazy story. With good reason I suppose, since it is a story of the first time I had taken a pill and smoked weed - except a couple of puffs at a party after high school had finished – as well as a story about another boy I have had sex with. So I expect you will understand when I say many of the details are lost to me, such as where we met – a club, but which one? – and where we were – a one bedroom flat he shared with friends, but where was it? I had just started to go out on my own after one of my only friends had stopped returning my calls – a fight on my birthday and growing jealousy over a developing friendship with a girl I had met through that friend, were the likely causes – because I refused to let a lack of friends stop me from going out and having some fun.
I remember we were sitting on an old, brown, cracked vinyl couch when he suggest we drop a pill. By this point in my life, I had only occasionally encountered drugs: I had been offered a couple of tokes – only one of which I accepted, because I had a major crush on the boy who offered – of weed, a friend of the family had overdosed on heroin – it was the weekend after we had one of those ‘deep and meaningful’ conversations – and died, Muso had carried a dried marijuana leaf in his wallet during high school, and he was also the one who told me a classmate was attempting to grow poppies. I remember no trepidation - though surely there was hesitation? – about taking such a thing, and with a stranger. We fucked until we were raw on that couch and the livingroom floor. At some point he put on a porn video he had found in the trash – along with theVCR – which I remember nothing of. In fact, later I mistook a terrible B movie from the eighties on tv as the porn video and had been quite confused when nobody took their clothes off.
We were lucky that one of his mates called to let him know they were on their way back, since we were still naked, on the couch taking a breather from some frantic fucking. I believe we may have fucked one more time, but I was dressed when the rest of the boys showed up. They had brought weed and we hung out and smoked it all.
At sunrise we decided to crash out. One guy slept in the only bedroom while the rest of us were on the floor and the couch. After the other boys had apparently fallen asleep the boy tried to convince me to have more sex with him. He used touch to convince me, so of course I couldn’t say no – and I had already fooled around with two other boys with other people in the room/shearing shed, so I wasn’t entirely shocked by the idea – and so we had sex one more time. I think we may have slept a bit before I left but I’m not sure, and I certainly don’t remember how I got home.
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