If I could slap the World in the face and say one thing, it would be this: WAKE UP PEOPLE! Let’s get present. It takes practice, but some of you undoubtedly know what this is. It means stopping everything, letting go of your endlessly swirling thoughts, taking inventory of your surroundings, allowing yourself to just be. There.
I imagine stepping into the rat race, realize it can’t be easy, and give thanks again that I’ve enjoyed a rare opportunity to live another way. Take Life, day by day. From dying beds, and shaking heads I’ve listened as you’ve had your say. Here’s what I’ve gathered; correct me if I’ve gone astray.
We are examples of Success by Adaptation. Life on Earth’s gotten to the point where we can not only read our DNA, but cut and paste it. We’ve discovered the building blocks of Life scattered across the Universe. However, with the good comes the bad; we’ve also inherited a disturbing ability to wipe out Life on Earth (as we know it).
Turns out, as grand as it is, Life is cheap. So what if we are not alone in the Universe? That’s here nor there. If we are going to survive, we’ll have to conquer our deadly aggressive impulses. Indeed, they served us well in earlier times, but our planet won’t tolerate explosive growth for long. (In fact, we’re in the midst of a massive mass extinction.) We will get past instinct-driven fear and hate, or die trying. The capacity for adaptation must be enhanced and maintained. Good thing we’ve landed in the Age of Information! With current technological developments, we’re making serious leeway.
What am I trying to say?
Good grief – I am WAY off topic. You wanted some juice on sex. Thought my friends’ comment about being bored with his hot girlfriend was dark, did you? I’ve learned to expect no less. As Seed-Bearers for our fine species, heterosexual males are armed with an ability to spread their seed far and wide. Meanwhile, females are the Gatekeepers. Sex requires much more investment on our side. Granted, technology has provided us with the wonders of contraception, but our biology hasn’t caught up to speed. The Human Genome evolves, comparatively, at a much slower pace.
So, he’s bored with her. It’s perfectly explicable. Once he’s got his genes squared away (assuming their deeply sub-conscious goal is to mate), it serves his (genes’) best interest if he spreads more of that seed around. This behavior has proven profoundly successful in human evolution, which is why it prevails today. Female promiscuity has a different beneficial role; not just trading up, as far as providers are concerned, but also building support in her community. Whether you call it serial monogamy or short-term mating, people are driven to test their options.
Don’t let it get to you. The World is growing ever-more crowded and at the same time, walls are wearing thin. Privacy doesn’t even exist anymore – the concept is a fossil of the past. Social networking brings our neighbors from across the World to our fingertips, thus increasing our potential (mating) options to utterly unimaginable extents. Who could settle for less?
I hear the cravings for companionship. I hear fears of loneliness, of emptiness, abyss. Hear this:
We will never be alone. Besides, human ownership isn’t practical and it doesn’t work. The moment we commit ourselves to one person entirely, there’s nothing left for everyone else! That’s just selfish. Instead, consider Compartmentalization.
In Compartmentalization, it’s understood that we share a unique part of ourselves with each person with whom we interact. Our purpose is varied, often abstract. There’s no reason our various, positive relationships ought not remain intact. Try telling your spouse that!
In fleshing out this perspective, I’ve gained profound respect for sex. It’s nothing to be toyed around with. (Whether we can get away with it is another story.) Over time, this philosophy has led me farther and farther from frivolous sex. The dangers associated with Trivialization and Commodification of Sex are, indeed, something to stress. Behavior modification ensues: Success by Adaptation!
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