So, I was in the process of writing an actual catch-up entry when something more interesting happened.
First I got a call from a guy I casually dated in May 2008. He’s texted me a few times a few months ago, about how he wants me to dominate him…and that’s why we never did anything but get drunk before is because I didn’t basically just rape him. But yes. MORE TEXTS…
I text him back with the most outrageous stuff ever. Just to fuck with him. This will never happen. lol.
We’ll just use his first initial, “B”. Misspellings and all. I’m quite sure he’s drunk. Wait…he’s ALWAYS drunk. Nevermind.
WARNING! VERY VERY VERY GRAPHIC, POSSIBLY OFFENSIVE. NOTHING IS TABOO HERE!!
B: Ill come to louisville if ull domonate me thats whay we talked about
B: U could have gotten laid every time u wanted to all u had to do was RAPE me
Me: Well you gotta let a sista know. I just always figured you were too drunk to fuck.
B: All u had to do was find my handcuffs and stradle my face, grab a handfull of my hair and make me your toy
Me: You never showed me your handcuffs, lameass! You should’ve just asked for it, you know I’m a freak.
B: I always feel this way, I just have to be drunk to own up to it.
Me: Should’ve owned up to it before you moved to bum fuck nowhere lol
Me: Lol ok. You’ve been pretty drunk around me before though :-p
B: How did I not tell u this before?
B: I’ll send u a pic of the cuffs hell ill send u a pic of me in a pink polkadot thong if u want
Me: I don’t know, you’re a pussy?
B: I am not a pussy. (Unless thats what u want me to be seriously i am way more of a freak than u are. The weirdest shit u can think of, i can think of a way to spice it up.
Me: Oh yeah? What’s your wildest fantasy?
B: U, a riding crop, a sexy lace corset, a great deal of rope or chain, a strap-on, a gag (ball or ring), possibly some type of head harness. Just off the top of my head, maybe with a pvc or vinyl body suit for u… these are just thaughts.
Me: Oh nice.
B: Anything you could add to it?
Me: Golden showers. For you.
B: Ooooohm mmm, almost slightly out of my comfort zone (but as long as i don’t have to drink it i probably wont throw out the safe word)
B: But still kinda shakey ground
Me: So poop sex is out of the question?
B: Lol kinda hehe
B: And animals and minors
B: Outside thoes, my only real hard limit is men. I will not do ANYTHING with other men. That is my hard limit
Me: Damn, no animals? I already bought this gerbil…
B: gerbil lol
Me: Why no men? It’s not gay.
B: No i like being the only swinging dick in the room, i dont do guys. Strap ons, cool. Guys, no.
B: I want u to try and drown me in ur juices while u are riding my face like a bycicle seat. If that would please u…
Later on…
B: Anything to add?
Me: Yeah, I’ll need you to clean the strap on after we’re done for the next usage, and you’ll do that with your mouth and it’s not clean until I say so.
B: And?? Maybe some kind of…plug?
Me: Yeah, for you. Nothing goes in my butt. FYI.
And so on and so forth. I’m currently looking up gross sex acts via google. He’s pretty much a frat boy college dropout.
Yeahhh. I hope that was entertaining for you, because I’m laughing my ass off over here.
Actual entry soon. I promise. Also, an entry all about Lollapalooza as well.
I’ve been forwarding all of these texts to Kiara since she’s still awake. And to Stephi as well to give her something ridiculous to wake up to. The last time he was texting me all of his fantasies, I read the texts out loud to Kiara and Stephi over our dinner at an italian place.
In related news, I feel gross just talking about this, lol.
And another thing: who buys the strap-on in these situations anyway? I’ve always wondered.
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